A Little Big Epiphany

The children's wash stand, North Carolina mansion

Glows like Vermeer

Today I have a little big epiphany to celebrate. For months, I have been chasing the young mavens who tout inspirational feasibility  to all of us who would love to have a business in surface pattern design, or internet sales, or many other avenues. Attractive.

And I don’t even want a business. I just realized this! It’s embarrassing to think back to all the trails I started to follow. I have all the time and equipment I need to pursue so many things already: what was I thinking?! Out of my mind.

I am going to unsubscribe to all those email feeds and offers of classes and trainings, even the free stuff. Except Uppercase Magazine. See it. Creatives and wow. Intriguing and satisfying.

Wanting to accomplish other things, I want to apply lots and lots of elbow grease and time with calligraphy, making books, designing space in this house and studio, and walking to harvest flowers to press. Sorting and editing images to sell. Sorting the collections of objects collected over my lifetime.

I started Yoga. Humming. Walking. Sneezing. But not building a business.

Botanical beauty. Greens and browns and blues.

Poetic realizations. Words and winding and wonderful.

Ancient pathways. Old stones and birdsong and priests.

Last year I couldn’t get over pneumonia. And it was “just one damn thing after another”, as my Juanita mother said. But I looked up and forward and kept on. Joy is not the absence of suffering, it is the presence of God. This year is a forward season. Joy is here. God is all over it.

Happy now. Off to cancel emails.

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